Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles! Martial Arts with a Side of Pizza!

Bene, those of you who did it without humming the theme song of the historic cartoon, which aired on Italia Uno in the Nineties after lunch when coming home from school, can sit in the front row to be put in the stocks and receive a proper scolding with the bo, Donatello’s weapon. Yes, because today we’re talking about Teenage Mutant Hero for NES, also known as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and it is the first official video game dedicated to the mutated turtles most famous of all time!

La saga of Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael, raised and trained by Master Splinter in the perhaps somewhat inglorious guise of a sewer rat, began forty years ago, appearing in American newsstands in 1984 thanks to the imagination of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, American comic-book artists who with the first comic issue of the series gave rise to a lucky and prolific epic made up of flashing shuriken, spectacular fights, steaming slices of pizza and a pinch of science fiction seasoned with superhero elements that both Marvel and Dc, the two American giants that hold the monopoly in the sector, appreciated to the point of generating crossover events between their hypertrophic heroes and the four friendly teenage turtles.

Esclusive to Nintendo in 1989 with the Konami brand (and this gives you an idea of how renowned the creatures invented by Eastman and Laird already were back then), this side-scrolling title, halfway between a beat ’em up and a platformer, was released the following year on other systems as well, including the ever-present Commodore64 for the record: in the shoes of the four shell-equipped warriors we’ll have to fight our way through six areas packed with members of the Foot Clan, the organization behind which the formidable ninja villain Shredder is hiding, who has not only kidnapped Master Splinter but also April O’Neill, the iconic and beautiful reporter friend of the turtles, with her canary-yellow work uniform that populated the dreams of every teenager of the era, including you who are reading and pretending not to care.

Teenage Mutant Hero provides the use of only one turtle at a time on our part, being a game obviously for a single player, which will eventually be replaced by one of its companions in case the life bar is depleted, until reaching the fateful Game Over when we no longer have any ninja turtles on the attack to move to successfully finish the game.

We will basically have two views within the game: the overhead one when we have to move, on foot or with the legendary van that also serves as a mobile operations base, from one level to another by passing through open manholes and the like, and the classic side-scrolling 2D view where we can jump and fight enemies, swinging each character’s personal weapons.

Michelangelo with his nunchaku, Donatello with the bo staff, the irascible Raphael master of the “sai” daggers (like Electra from the aforementioned Marvel) and finally Leonardo, warrior and leader of the group armed with a katana. Strengths and flaws are of course present in a title that became seminal for the genre, and that perhaps represents one of the highest arcade points reached by the 8-bit console in my very modest opinion (although I consider the second chapter much better than the first but that’s another story).

Parlo dell’evident difficulty in some levels, a striking example is the defusing of underwater bombs in the sewers, where I personally deposited colorful improprieties over the years among the electrical spirals of the algae-anemone, fortunately counterbalanced by little gems that make the fans of the first hour, like myself, happy, delighting us with pleasant cutscenes and a general mood that strongly recalls the atmosphere and pacing of the series.

Few video game adaptations of successful franchises have managed to make their mark on an era. Yes, I admit it, it’s extremely difficult; however, enough talk, put on your shell, let’s go for a pizza ride and go give those fetishist goons a beating!